Socks?

I was facilitating a revision session with a class of 45 rambunctious and hyper-active 13-year-olds, when a particular boy caught my attention. He was quite unmanageable, loud and was interrupting his group's discussion. Therefore, I reprimanded him.

Ms Sophie: Sam*, please cooperate with your friends and work together. Get your acts together! Pull up your socks!

Sam: Okay, okay... *bends down and pulls up his socks*

Source

Ms Sophie: ... -.-"

*Name has been changed to protect student's privacy.

Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

Have been too lazy to write any meaningful post. Just wanna share this humourous email.

A Punjabi lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India.

Dear Sunita Darling,

I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company's performance, so I am sending you 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, please adjust.

Your loving husband,
Tuna Singh

His wife replied:

TINKU KE PAPPA,

Thanks for the 100 kisses. Below is the list of expenses I paid with the kisses:

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.
3. Your landlord, Kapal Singh, comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.
4. Supermarket owner, Jaswant Singh, did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items. I hope you understand.
5. Miscellaneous expenses: 40 kisses.

Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can survive the month using this balance.

Shall I plan the same for the next month?

Your Sweetheart,
Kichi Kaur

NEVER MESS WITH WOMEN... ^ ^

40 and Above

Spinxie posted this forwarded e-mail which she had received on her blog. It's humorous. Still a few more years away but being 40 and above is not that bad after all!

For those ladies over 40, THIS IS PRICELESS!

In case you missed it, this is what Andy Rooney, Correspondent of 60 Minutes (CBS), thinks about women over 40:

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?' Here's an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

HappySlip Jingle

This is one of my favourite Youtube comedians, HappySlip. She is one talented artist who plays different characters in her humourous videos.

Here she sings a Christmas jingle using the cup beat.

Enjoy!

(Youtube uploaded by HappySlip, Dec 21, 2007)

15MALAYSIA

15MALAYSIA is a compilation of short films that have been released and to be released in the months of August and September. These socio-political films are directed, produced and acted by Malaysia's very own home-grown talents for the people of Malaysia.

Watch it and appreciate the humour, reality and transparency of the plots.

My favourite thus far is Potong Saga which features Namawee and my favourite local director, Ho Yuhang.

It's hilarious and at the same time thought-provoking.

And don't miss the making of Potong Saga too.

Mathematical Logic (Just for a Laugh)

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint... it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND,
look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

'REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM'.

Blow them up!

Listen to this hilarious prank call by an 8-year-old Irish girl who called up a demolition company to blow up her school.

She also specifically told them to make sure that all her teachers are inside when they blow up it up! O_o

The reason?

They gave her too much homework on a Friday... -_-






i'll make sure not to give my 'kids' too much homework from now on... less marking for me and won't get blown up too...


LagiSiok =D

Improve Your Health

This makes me smile after a long, busy day at work. Thanks, Lily, for the mail... =D

25 ways to improve your health

1. Brush twice a day.



2. Dress right for the weather.







3. Visit the dentist regularly.



4. Get plenty of rest.








5. Make sure your hair is dry before going outside.



6. Eat right.



7. Get outside in the sun every once in a while.








8. Always wear a seatbelt.








9. Refrain from drinking alcoholic beverages.








10. Smile! It will make you feel better.








11. Don't over indulge yourself.



12. Bathe regularly.







13. Read to exercise the brain.







14. Surround yourself with friends.







15. Stay away from too much caffeine.










16. Use the bathroom regularly.







17. Get plenty of exercise.



18. Have your eyes checked regularly.







19. Eat plenty of vegetables.







20. Believe that people will like you for who you are.








21. Forgive and forget.



22. Take plenty of vacations.








23. Celebrate all special occasions.



24. Pick up a hobby.










25. Love your neighbour as yourself.








Do all these things and you will be a happier, healthier person!

^.^