exercise for dear life!

And so, the blood test result's out. I had the previous one done in Oct 2007 which showed me having slightly higher cholesterol level.

This time around, I thought my cholesterol level would hit an all-time high but it was not. It is good.

However, the scary news to me is, my screening for diabetes yielded a result of 5.9, which is only 0.1 away from 6.0, the NORMAL range for people free of diabetes!

My dear doctor says that it is okay. Treatment is needed for those who have a level of 6.5 and above. And yours truly is only 0.6 away from 6.5!

And so, on the way home after my visit to the doctor, I drove by Gaya and turned in at the juncton to the small park.

Yes... I checked out the park where I will be exercising for... ever... or at least until my 5.9 drops to a more acceptable level.

Sigh... yes... the time has come when I will have to exercise for my dear life! And also lessen the intake of carbohydrates (my favourite) from my diet.

So, my dear kaki makan, please do not lure me with buffet invitations or pig-out sessions. My heart's gonna bleed...

TakBolehSiokLagi :(

the new school year 2009

And so, there goes my 2008 holiday. What have i done?

• Lazed at home and read 5 Nora Roberts' fiction. (Love them all. Still one to go. Save for CNY break.)
• Worked extra 10 hours at IPGKK at RM120 per hour! (Dear God, please give me more part time jobs like that! Amen!)
• Went Christmas carolling with a bunch of kids very, very much younger than me. (I feel like a dinosauress :'(...)
• Played for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day celebrations. (Haven't done that for some years. Where are those young ex-worship team members?)
• Marked SPM scripts and earned the experience. (A really vomit-inducing and blood pressure-raising work which pays peanuts. But the networking's great! We, English teachers, ARE a crazy bunch! Craziness in the midst of stress.)
• Went out with friends.
• Bought and decorated my first Christmas tree.
• Played for Debs for the Chinese Song-writing Competition.
• Slept before 10 p.m. on New Year's Eve! (A confirmation of me being a fossilized species.)
• Ate... a lot (Self-explanatory...)

In 2009, work-wise, I am...

• The Class Teacher of 5A (Sigh...)
• The Guru Penyelaras of the whole Form 5 (donkey job)
• The English teacher for 4B, 5A, 5I and U61 (Okay, this I like)
• The Choir Club Advisor (as usual... yawn...)
• The Advisor of the annual school magazine (yawn...)
• The Advisor of The English Drama Competition 2009 (stress x3)
• The Teasurer for my Sports House
• Other odds and ends...

Home-wise...

• Love my family more each day
• Clean my room more often
• Wash my laundry more often
• Wash my car more often

Service-wise...

• Be more punctual (^.^ ... was late for the first service of the year...)
• Train up 2 more keyboardists
• Get the chords for the song sheets done
• Be kinder to the 'kids' (For they are so fearful of me... *growl*)

Spiritually...

• Read my Bible more
• Pray more... honest and heart-felt prayers

Personally...

• Will be more relaxed
• Choose to be in control and calmer

Weight-wise...

• Lose those FATS!!! Sophie!!!! (Ma... what's for dinner?)

There... my list of tasks to do...

TentuSiok =D

A New Dawn

The year is coming to an end. Today's the last day of the year. How quickly time flies. I especially feel that this year. I haven't been updating this blog for a few months already (Many excuses and also some valid reasons. Am writing this in Wini's dad's study, using Wini's Internet connection... @.@ Thanks Wini...)

I had wanted to mark this date for remembrance :)

Some questions and musings for myself...

What have I done?
Have I learned anything?
Am I a better and wiser person with all the events and things that have taken place this year? Have I counted my blessings?
What's in store for next year?

Hmmm, am being very melancholic today... now...

But, I am very contented at this moment... very. At peace with myself and God ^_^


MasihSiokLagi ^.^

this is me - istj

ISTJ
The Duty Fulfiller
Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging


 
Serious and quiet, interested in security and peaceful living. Extremely thorough, responsible, and dependable. Well-developed powers of concentration. Usually interested in supporting and promoting traditions and establishments. Well-organized and hard working, they work steadily towards identified goals. They can usually accomplish any task once they have set their mind to it.

As an ISTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

ISTJs are quiet and reserved individuals who are interested in security and peaceful living. They have a strongly-felt internal sense of duty, which lends them a serious air and the motivation to follow through on tasks. Organized and methodical in their approach, they can generally succeed at any task which they undertake.

ISTJs are very loyal, faithful, and dependable. They place great importance on honesty and integrity. They are "good citizens" who can be depended on to do the right thing for their families and communities. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun - especially at family or work-related gatherings.

ISTJs tend to believe in laws and traditions, and expect the same from others. They're not comfortable with breaking laws or going against the rules. If they are able to see a good reason for stepping outside of the established mode of doing things, the ISTJ will support that effort. However, ISTJs more often tend to believe that things should be done according to procedures and plans. If an ISTJ has not developed their Intuitive side sufficiently, they may become overly obsessed with structure, and insist on doing everything "by the book".

The ISTJ is extremely dependable on following through with things which he or she has promised. For this reason, they sometimes get more and more work piled on them. Because the ISTJ has such a strong sense of duty, they may have a difficult time saying "no" when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle. For this reason, the ISTJ often works long hours, and may be unwittingly taken advantage of.

The ISTJ will work for long periods of time and put tremendous amounts of energy into doing any task which they see as important to fulfilling a goal. However, they will resist putting energy into things which don't make sense to them, or for which they can't see a practical application. They prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when the situation demands it. They like to be accountable for their actions, and enjoy being in positions of authority. The ISTJ has little use for theory or abstract thinking, unless the practical application is clear.

ISTJs have tremendous respect for facts. They hold a tremendous store of facts within themselves, which they have gathered through their Sensing preference. They may have difficulty understanding a theory or idea which is different from their own perspective. However, if they are shown the importance or relevance of the idea to someone who they respect or care about, the idea becomes a fact, which the ISTJ will internalize and support. Once the ISTJ supports a cause or idea, he or she will stop at no lengths to ensure that they are doing their duty of giving support where support is needed.

The ISTJ is not naturally in tune with their own feelings and the feelings of others. They may have difficulty picking up on emotional needs immediately, as they are presented. Being perfectionists themselves, they have a tendency to take other people's efforts for granted, like they take their own efforts for granted. They need to remember to pat people on the back once in a while.

ISTJs are likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others. However, their strong sense of duty and the ability to see what needs to be done in any situation usually allows them to overcome their natural reservations, and they are usually quite supporting and caring individuals with the people that they love. Once the ISTJ realizes the emotional needs of those who are close to them, they put forth effort to meet those needs.

The ISTJ is extremely faithful and loyal. Traditional and family-minded, they will put forth great amounts of effort at making their homes and families running smoothly. They are responsible parents, taking their parenting roles seriously. They are usually good and generous providers to their families. They care deeply about those close to them, although they usually are not comfortable with expressing their love. The ISTJ is likely to express their affection through actions, rather than through words.

ISTJs have an excellent ability to take any task and define it, organize it, plan it, and implement it through to completion. They are very hard workers, who do not allow obstacles to get in the way of performing their duties. They do not usually give themselves enough credit for their achievements, seeing their accomplishments simply as the natural fulfillment of their obligations.

ISTJs usually have a great sense of space and function, and artistic appreciation. Their homes are likely to be tastefully furnished and immaculately maintained. They are acutely aware of their senses, and want to be in surroundings which fit their need for structure, order, and beauty.

Under stress, ISTJs may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.

In general, the ISTJ has a tremendous amount of potential. Capable, logical, reasonable, and effective individuals with a deeply driven desire to promote security and peaceful living, the ISTJ has what it takes to be highly effective at achieving their chosen goals - whatever they may be.


Content above copyright of BSM Consulting, www.personalitypage.com

Love Song

Here's a catchy number from Sara Bareilles. i love this! It's been around for one year but i've only heard this two days ago... T_T (i don't know where i've been.)

Apparently, this song is not meant for the man in her life. She was signed on with a record label and they had wanted a better song (a love song) to make the album before they would release it. So she wrote this 'love song'. Her lyrics says it all.





Verse 1:
Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Pre-Chorus:
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

Chorus:
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today
Today

Verse 2:
I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under you
And your twisted words, your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Pre-Chorus 2:
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

Bridge:
Promise me you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way you can love me because I say

Chorus:
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to
Write you a love song today
Today

Gravity

This song by singer-songwriter, Sara Bareilles, is beautiful!





Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

CHORUS:
Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

CHORUS:
Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down
You’re on to me, you’re on to me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

08.08.08

I find 08.08.08 amusing; just like how I find 07.07.07 of last year special.

It's the number - just because they are the same. They somehow look nice... triple 08.

To many, today is an auspicious day to get married. Just read the wedding announcements in the newspaper, especially the Chinese dailies.

To some, its a good number for lottery.

To me, its a Friday, marking the end of the working week for me.

The day before the weekend.

The day to watch the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. ^_^

The day to just siok a bit and post an entry on nothing in particular, just so 08.08.08 is marked here. 8)

Siok08.08.08

Blow them up!

Listen to this hilarious prank call by an 8-year-old Irish girl who called up a demolition company to blow up her school.

She also specifically told them to make sure that all her teachers are inside when they blow up it up! O_o

The reason?

They gave her too much homework on a Friday... -_-






i'll make sure not to give my 'kids' too much homework from now on... less marking for me and won't get blown up too...


LagiSiok =D

Anakku

i first met her waaaaaayyyyyyyy back in 1996.

i went to Camp Cameron (Camp Cam) during my first year uni break. It was a three-week long camp held at a cluster of chalets located very near a lake just after Ringlet, Cameron Highland.

It was a very special camp where the participants were required to stay in chalets as a 'family'. All of us were a bunch of young, clueless (i think that's me), idealistic uni students then. Each chalet had a set of 'grandpa' and 'grandma' (the FES staff), a 'papa' and a 'mama' (the participants) and the 'children' (the participants).

i was very 'honoured' to be selected as a 'mama' of Chalet 8 (actually, 'mamas' had to bear more responsibilities). So, together with my new-found 'husband', Larry, whom i didn't love, we found ourselves the 'parents' of 3 sons (Victor, James & David) and 6 daugthers (Yoke Meng, Mei Chyi, Julie, Evonne, Corrine & Ai Sing)... hope i didn't miss out anyone. i was very 'fertile' then.

My 'husband' and i had to run the household, delegating household chores, collecting money from the 'children' for special treats once in awhile, making sure light's off at 11 pm, etc... under the supervision of 'grandpa' Christopher and 'grandma' Evelyn and not forgetting 'aunt' Mary.

For three weeks we were 'stuck' together. We listened to talks after talks, studied the Word together (with members of other chalets and in our own smaller group), shared, talked, laughed together, cried together (some sessions were emotionally draining), ate together, participated in rehearsed drama and inpromptu sketch, played Captain ball every evening at the field across the winding road (we were the champion! Yes!), challenged other chalets in sports and board games, visited other chalets (showing 'neighbourliness'), had the Wednesday outings to Brinchang (our 'prison breaks'), got to know each other, got on each other's nerve, learned to settle disputes and issues, etc...

We enjoyed ourselves. At least i did!

Of all the members in my chalet, i got to know one of my 'daughters' better. We just clicked. i don't know when it started but we just kinda got along pretty well.

One day, she invited me to the playground opposite the chalets. It was an appointment. She said she had something to tell me (if i remember correctly). i thought we had issues and she needed to trash it out. But, i forgot and slept the afternoon away.

When i remembered and asked her later, she said it was nothing. Ooops, i'd stepped on her tail, i thought to myself.

But one night, a few days later, she came to me and asked...

"Can I be your friend?"

Huh???

"i thought we are already friends!" i said, flabbergasted.

She then proceeded to tell me that that was how she made friends. She was serious about friendships. She was intense. We chatted late into the night. i couldn't remember the rest of the conversation. My memory has failed me. But, yeah, we became friends... officially... O_o

She has her quaint ways and all. We kept in touch after the camp; writing snail mails, sending cards (i will never forget her self-designed birthday card for my 21st birthday! It was awesome!), calling each other...

But distance kind of cooled down our friendship. i was in KL and she was up north. Later, i did visit her hometown twice and met up, pigged myself, talked about old times and updated each other.

Over the years, there is one thing, however, that she has continued doing; calling me up on my birthdays to wish me. i would love to say that i have been diligently doing the same but alas, i haven't. i forgot to call her on her birthday in 2003 (Why 2003? Now that's another post.) and on another year, i called her but couldn't get her because she was in Langkawi with a group of friends and she had left her handphone in another room (Hah! i remember this detail).

A few months ago, after discovering FB, i 'found' her and is now more updated with her news and all. i 'see' my 'daughter' more frequently now on FB and chats.

So, now that i am more Internet-savvy and could afford to siok a bit...

Happy birthday, anakku! Thanks for your friendship. i cherish you lots!

(How much? i have dedicated this whole blog entry for you! So don't expect a call from me lah!)

Okaylah, will call you later tonight... have to keep the tradition going...

Love always,

Mama

speechless, still am

i am finding it increasingly difficult to handle teens nowadays. Maybe it's the generation gap or i really suck at teaching them.

i do feel like a Pentium 1 processor and they, the Intel CoreDuo. Their minds are so quick and they are getting so smart as the years go by. Or am i losing it?

At the same time, their attitudes are not that admirable. In the short or long 8 years that i have been teaching, i've seen many come and go. The children are definitely getting smarter but their attitude suck big time. Yes, teens, they maybe but they can be really manipulative and twist things around their fingers. And the most astonishing thing is that their parents totally support their unbecoming behaviours.

And the worst of the lot happens to be church-goers or those who claim to love the Father, JC, and the HS. Children of pastors, church elders, leaders, so on and so forth. In fact, the most difficult parents could be them too. It's sad, but true.

Some say that it's the work of Mr S. A. Tan, attacking the leadership and weakening families of God. To a certain extent, it may be true but i beg to differ. We are giving way too much credit to ourselves by always blaming him. Choosing to blame him seems to be the easier option rather than to face up to the reality that we have the right to choose and do what is right, that God's power is greater than that of the world. By giving the excuse that we are sinners, and yes, indeed we are redeemed sinners, and thus imperfect and prone to trespasses, belittles the power of resurrection. JC would have died in vain.

When i was just a green horn, i've the privilege of working with many students in the few portfolios that i was handling. i've guided a few top students, some awesome and charismatic student-leaders and many other students from different levels of academic achievements, backgrounds, race and beliefs. The majority were a joy for me to teach, educate, lead, coach, mentor and help. i love their eagerness, their genuine passion, their teachability, their commitment, their dedication...

Of course, there were a few difficult ones but not that i could not handle or deal with. When my students go out of line, i'd most definitely not mince my thoughts and i'd definitely give them a piece of my mind. i'm not one of those timid or inexperienced teachers who could be bullied or threatened into submission by my students. When these students work together with me, they already know the person i am. i am straightforward and sets the boundary clearly right from the very beginning.

However, the worst experiences i had was last year. From one case to another, they involved Christian students. i have yet to figure out why but all the painful lessons that i have learned in that one whole year were from them.

The most selfish were them, the most double-faced were them, the most ungrateful were them, the most apathetic were them, the ones with the most excuses were them, the ones who claimed ignorance were them, the ones who chickened out were them, the most ambitious and want-it-all and yet calculative of the cost they had to pay to achieve the glories were them.

And the list went on and on...

And no, i am not talking about just only a specific group of students, but students from different levels and from different portfolios.

And it just completely drained me, totally. i was floored. It rendered me speechless. It was incredulous! My heart sank rock bottom, the joy of teaching and educating was wiped out from my soul, the passion for what i do was dampened, many tears were shed, many sleepless nights were endured...

i was in despair, confusion; hurt, depressed...

Upon reflection, i felt that way because:

i teach with all my heart

i give my all

i try my best

i sacrifice the time, energy and finance

i go the extra mile

i desire to be different

i want to make a difference

i was hurt because i cared too much.

i am still recovering, my soul is still healing... but i am not the same anymore. There is hesitation, there is trepidation, reservation, which i used not to have...

And now it seems like history is repeating itself. From a distance, i am seeing a repeat of last year. New sets of churchy students and parents are getting the upper hand using underhanded methods, manipulating... (NOT to be confused with the favour of God).

i am not directly involved because they are under other teachers in different projects and competitions. And some of my colleagues had a hard time. i am just looking on from a distance... amazed.

This year i find that i am still speechless...

Speechless because we are called to be different. We are meant to be different.

Are we not?