Relieved

Finally I could breathe a sigh of relief. I'm done with my exam though I still have to finish up my proposal which is due on Dec 10.

It was just a very different experience sitting for the exam. It's been nearly a decade since I last had to read so much and try to memorize certain facts. There were just so much to cover and understand. Seriously, I have never ever gone into an exam hall with this much feelings of inadequacy, unpreparedness, uncertainty, fear and doubt (except for my government PTK multiple-choice exam which I had never bothered to read).

Another aspect that I'm still struggling with is the application of all these knowledge. At this level, it is more about application which I'm still trying to get used to - the application of theories into practice or practice supported by theories. The link.

Besides juggling all these facts, I realize that I've lost the momentum and memory power to study. It used to be such a breeze; understanding, reading up, making short notes, memorizing, remembering - all done in quite a short time.

Now, I'm like dragging myself - read, reread, and reread and yet not really comprehending and soaking it all up. Sigh... is it really age catching up or do I still need to work harder?

The funny thing that I couldn't help but to bang my head on the wall is I failed to practice good time management during my first paper (and there I was all these years advising and reminding my students to practise good time management during an exam... =.=).

I had three hours to answer four questions but my time management was so horrendously bad that I had only ten minutes to write the fourth essay! I have no one else but myself to blame. Am keeping my fingers crossed that this will not cause me to get only a B-. Getting a B- is bad. It will cause me to get kicked out of school!!!

I'm realistic - just aiming for a B. Please, DD, please.

At this moment, I'm relieved that the exam part is over but there's still the proposal to be churned out. More reading and writing.

Yup, this is the reflection of a more 'mature' student sitting for an exam which she deems rigorous.

I just can't wait for Dec 10. It's independence day for me study-wise. I want to enjoy my Christmas holiday; set up my simple Christmas tree, stroll down the malls, window-shop, buy some new outfits for myself, eat some fattening food with family and friends, watch some movies, read more novels, watch TV, laze around and also not forgetting, exercise more...

Ah... pure bliss...